Moving On... Goodbye

It was 1.20 am on the clock, Raashi stared at the blank email template wondering where to start.  She had thought about it but actually typing it out would need a little more courage, she picked up her 3rd mug of Bloody Mary and chugged it down. She was in love, real love, but it was unrequited and the story had to end.  Love however wouldn't.

It had been a month since they had last spoken. 'Shashank the elder', as she thought of him.  He would try to make a point sometimes saying "I'm older than you are, I know better" or "I'm older than you are, listen to me".  She smiled as she thought of how he'd say it.  She remembered everything about him.  Every minute they had spent together.  And how he had made her feel.  She was almost sure of when she might have fallen in love with him.

She hadn't been in many relationships in the past. She was weary of people... men and had trust issues.  Somehow he had managed to jump over those hurdles.  He had changed her in so many ways and she thought he should know about it.  She wasn't an arts and crafts girls, sure she was a DIY girl but the two aren't the same.  She never thought she had patience to make those cute explosion cards, but she had made one for him.  She wasn't the type to go see friends off at the airport but she wanted to, for him.  She wanted to hug and kiss him good bye.  She never thought she'd travel and try to make a long distance relationship work. But she had done that too.  She had this list of things which she thought was silly and she'd never do.  But she had done almost everything on there.

This email she was going to write was also a thought she had been wrestling with for a while.  She was always verbose about her thoughts and feelings.  So this also needed to be said clearly.

It's important to have boundaries.  Walls help identify where they end... or begin, depending on where you're standing.  They help identify what's yours and what's not.  And this distinction is important.  You need to slap yourself sometimes to wake up.  To help see more clearly above any delusions.

She had thought this through practically.  "It's like cutting the umbilical cord" she mumbled. Babies are almost parasitic, they latch themselves onto the host (Mother) and derive nutrients from her until they are strong enough to survive without the extreme attachment.  She actually loved babies.  But the thought of the current world affairs made her think that may be she shouldn't add to the global population.  With pollution rising and the looming threat of a third world war... As she coiled up in her chair pulling her knees closer to her chest, she sighed looking back at the email and realised she was almost missing the train of thought.

"I Love him but I can't have him, it's not going to work. You have to officially end this chapter. Please do it!" she said to herself aloud.  Her body as if to oppose, shut the laptop picked up her phone and walked away from the table.  This needs to happen.  The relationship was dying and it hurt because he didn't care about it.  He was clear there would be no future together.   

'Shashank​' the name meant the moon.  She had liked it ever since he had told her the meaning.  He had become the moon of her life. She had cried enough about it.  More than a couple of nights to realise that if she's the only one feeling what she was feeling, to the point that it was just self harm... She needed to walk away from it. 

She picked up a bottle of water from the fridge and walked back to the laptop. She was going to write a letter and say good bye. Goodbyes, like boundries, were important.

Turning 30

I remember thinking when I turned 25, that I’d be 30 in no time!  I dreaded turning 30 since I was 25! Turning 30 has been made into this really big deal and while some us of might think it’s not, there are whole lot out there who think otherwise. I have to admit, I have been a part of that lot till about a month ago. For most it’s the general social checklist i.e.  the job, car, house, marriage, kids etc and if you’ve got the ticks in.  Me thinks, the whole lot is usually people who are not 30 yet (or those pesky aunts/relatives trying to get you hitched)! 

A month after turning 20, I had moved to Mumbai because of a job.  I’m still a part of that company and would be completing a decade working there!  At the end of the recruitment season in college I had two offers in hand, one was Hewlett-Packard and other was JP Morgan.  HP had been coming to our college for years and we knew our seniors were working there; we would have someone to go to if we ever needed advice.  JP Morgan on the other hand was a company none of the students had heard of. Whoever chose it would be the first batch, I chose the latter because it would be an adventure.  At the time I thought why not discover something new? 

I’ve grown and learnt so much about life in the last 10 years!  Made loads of friends, built relationships, grown up, grown apart and even lost a few friends.   The first five years of the last decade were spent mostly at work, not just because I was a workaholic but because it was work + at office.  I made some of the best friends during this time of life and I’m to say I still have almost all of them.  I honestly did not realise the first 4 years pass and office was the first home away from home.  It was after these dear friends changed jobs and moved away that brought the differentiation of personal and professional time.

I do have a few regrets (wouldn’t be life without it right?) like not having enough time with my family  and not  being around while my little brother grew up from being 3.5 ft to almost 6ft tall. Taking some things too seriously when I should have chilled out and relaxed and other times being silly instead of having known better.  Wait, they’re not all regrets, some of them, most of them have been lessons and I’m still glad it all happened. If someone now asks me ‘Would you do it all over again?’ I’d say ‘No!’ Because its one life, you learn and move ahead.  Why would anyone do the same thing twice unless it was like the Ground Hog Day movie? :P

Today I am thinking of all the people I have met over the last decade and thanking those that have made a difference.  I also thank my parents for the values I hold and take responsibility for any shortcomings I have.  Parent’s support is one of the most important thing in a child’s life and I feel truly been blessed for the constant support my parents provide me.

Looking back at the decade I feel extremely proud of what I have achieved.  I think its living alone and managing everything myself that has taught me the most.  Although I have friends who I could call on in tough times I have weathered some storms alone and that has only made me stronger.  It’s like knowing you have a net but still making that successful tight rope walk without having a wire attached. Life is going to throw some punches but as long as you keep getting up its going to be okay.

So much of life has happened in a decade and I can’t wait to see what else is in the future store!

Wedding Phobia?

I know I have these beautiful ideas about marriage and having been through a really close friends wedding I realise how special that is.  Its not just about the two people getting married its also about the two families coming together.  Both the individuals gain a whole new family and find themselves in a host of new relationships. I know the girl moves out of her home but I think these days its not such a big deal as it used to be what seems like eons ago.  Although, when she comes back to her parents home after the wedding she would be only visiting as Mrs. Somebody!

So... I have an idea of the kind of marriage I'd want and the family I'll have someday. At the same time I've been having these horrible nightmares about my wedding.  I see myself in the Mandap and the rituals going on the matras being recited and at the same time I can hear the thoughts in my head going "You're marrying the wrong guy! Get out of here!" and I wake up scared and heart racing like mad.

Most my friends know I'm single and looking to settle down.  Those unmarried and my age are doing exactly the same thing but I wonder.. Do they ever have these nightmares? (as I type this I wonder if I should be talking about this with one of those friends instead of posting about it.  But since I let so many ideas die out in draft I think this would up the TRP :P hahahahahha)

I tried to think logically why I've been having nightmares.  I'm not really afraid of commitment as such but may be it was the thought of having to spend forever after with that 'One' person (I don't want to think about options if I do get married to the wrong guy). Its a life sentence and you get to choose your cell mate. One wrong decision and you could be screwed (sense the pun?). The thought of what if I make a mistake add a tiny bit of pressure.  Also, time is of the essence isn't it.  When I was younger I had a life plan - that is different from what it is now - and I'm long way off it!

Since that plan is outdated I've decided to talk about it... It was simple

1. Fall in love at 23 
2. Get married at 25
3. First baby at 27
4. Second baby at 29

Now to point out, Step 1 is not something that can be planned.  You might say point 2 is.  Well, not for me.

I can't imagine getting married to somebody I don't feel love for - The real love! I've had friends whose marriages were arranged and they are happily married.  May be the system works for them.  For me its not so much about getting married as 'Who' is it that I would be spending the rest of my life with and loving every living day of forever after! When I've talked about this line with my friends, the married ones are quick to response by "You can't be really happy every day, there will be tough times."  I completely understand that! Life isn't a holiday, its a journey where you choose your company, your friends and after a certain point you choose the partner for life.  That one person who you would always support and who would always be there when you need them.  

That said, I'm not afraid of marriage or getting married, I'm not even thinking about marriage.  But I do hope to meet that special somebody... Sooner rather than later.

The Cocktail Case

Indians I think feel a need to a people based on their community, sort of like keeping things organised.  So when therer's a question of the cocktails or the crossbreed or whatever the word is for children of the people who married outside their community they don't know how to deal with it.  Why can't people just let us be plain Indians or just accept that we are mixed.

Generally the trend is the kids are pushed in the direction based on thier last names / Paternal community.  So for example if a Gujrati girl marries a Bong guy the kid (who is 50% Gujju and 50% Bong) would be categorised as a Bong because the father is a Bengali.  However, if the mother was a Bong and father was a Gujju the kid (still a 50% Gujju and 50% Bong mix) would have been categorised as a Gujju! WHY? Isn't the child still made up of the same ratio? 

Talking of numbers reminds me of what a friend once told me.  He is a Mother is a Gujju and Father a South Indian so he has a South Indian last name.  What he said was... "I'm 50% South Indian and 50% Gujju but I have a south Indian last name and hence will be called a South Indian.  Someday when I decide to get married and if I choose a Gujju girl my kids would be 75% Gujju but will still have a South Indian Surname and will be called South Indian." We had quiet a laugh about it then but after that day I did think about it and wondered why do we have to be categorised?

I'm a 50-50 mix of Mallu and Konkani.  My father is from Kerela and Mother a Konkani.  My first name is Bengali and look like one too sometimes...  that confuses people and amuses me.  Its as if a person with OCD has been stopped from doing what he soo badly wants to do - Categorise :o)

When someone asks me what I am, I tell them I'm a cocktail and explain the ratio, blah blah blah.  Some people just nod while some at the end say oh ok so ur a Mallu.. that is such a facepalm moment!  I don't have a problem being called a Mallu.  Just that technically I'm a mixed Indian with a south Indian last name.  I have been brought up under the Maternal cultural influence, I don't speak Malayalam, or know much about anything on my fathers side of the family with almost no contact with my paternal cousins.  So at the end of it when someone calls me a Mallu it doesn't feel very right.  Why would they not accept a mix? It can be a little annoying at times - when I attend a (maternal) community function.  People would talk quiet nicely till they realise I'm a Mallu almost everytime they react as if they have bit into a Pomello assuming it was sweet lime! Its like a club where you need a last name to enter.  Even though people claim to be educated, liberal / broad minded they just cant seem to stop with tagging.

Sometimes when I explain to people that I am a mix and not to tag me they think I have an aversion to being called a Mallu.  Those who know me don't categorise me and those who don't... Well I really don't care.  Theres a lot to a person than just a last name.

Mother of Mine

I've made many attempts to post this article but somehow was waiting for a special occasion and many have passed - Mothers Day, Woman's Day, Teacher's Day and even my mum's B'day.  Well... she is the Iron Lady of my life, my first teacher, my guide, the source of  many inspirations - She is my Mother...Everyday is her day. I am the daughter of Nirmala. 

I'm sure many of us hold our parents in high regard.  This post isn't going to talk about why my mum is most special in the world... Its about She IS the MOST SPECIAL person in My World! She is My God - The Creator of me. 

Of the thousand memories that I have of my Mum I'd like to share this one incident.  As a child I imagine I was quiet difficult and stubborn.  My mum has always led by example.  She has never forced me to just blindly do as told but encouraged asking questions, thinking and always reasoned to convince me.

There was once this time when got a note from a teacher for not doing my homework and had to get my parents to sign.  I thought may be I should not bother them with such petty tasks and forged my mother's signature.  Next day in school I showed the note to the teacher - I wasn't a great forger and she realized I had signed it. I'm a horrible liar - I can't lie for nuts! She asked me if I had done it and I nodded a yes.

The teacher took me to the School Headmistress's office.  Any kid would be nervous I guess but I was thinking My god what drama over homework not done! They really need to chill! So anyway, that day I went home with a note from the Headmistress!  Now I was nervous, homework not done would still have been easy to explain but how to I start to explain a forgery!? By evening I managed to muster up some courage and handed her the note not knowing what to expect.  She read it and then asked me if I had done. Then she wanted to see the copy and asked how I did it and then... Wait for it.... She smiled! Then she says.. "Its OK, these are those once-in-a-life things. I had done it once too when I was in school. Just don't do it again"  and I was off the hook!  

You can only imagine what a WOW moment that was.... I left thinking I have been blessed with a really cool Mom! I never again did repeat it, also when I think back I know some other people might have spanked the kid for this - not doing homework, forging notes where is this kid headed.  It was the 'reaction' that changed everything. She never raised her hand on us, she could always make us understand by explaining the situation. But more importantly I think it was also because she remembered what it was like to be a kid. This is also a good parenting lesson, someday when I have kids I know this is one of the stories I will be sharing with them :)

She used to call me a day dreamer. Yes, that's where I first heard this word I was all of five!  She would sometimes consult me silly matters but its very important, which I don't think many parents do (at least not many from my time).  They just tell the kids what to do and are not really bothered about their opinion. But that is important, it made me feel valued.  She taught me what the right thing to do is but the choice was always mine. She has only passed good things to her children.  I owe all my successes to her.  But the failures would only be my responsibility, faults that I have are my own for its only because I forgot her lessons.  

I possibly can't write everything in one post but to sum it up.  Nothing we ever do in life to try to repay the debt to our mother is ever going to be enough.  Selfless love like a mother's is something that can never ever be replaced or repaid.  

My Mother, I will forever be indebted and grateful to you for everything!

Two Friends - A Short Story

Boy, have I been away for a long time! Life kept me buzy.  Lots of good things happening.  This is not an open dairy - I know that and I keep telling myself - but many good things have happened.  And Joy is a thing to be shared.  Life as we know isn't always full of fun and happiness - ofcourse! -  we appreciate it more because of the days of melancholy, gloom and despondency.  There were a lot of sad resentful events taking place around that made me angry - killing of the girl child that was in the news, women safety issues in Delhi or rather the lack of it! Not to forget the dirty politics Ughh! On the personal front there had been a few mini storms blowing. Nothing major but you know how EVERYTHING seems to go wrong when we are in a terrible situation.  I'd rather spread joy than wallow in misery and self pity! I'm too good for that :D hehe

I think us humans enjoy drama - there's a reason why those Balaji serials do so well you know! - the feeling you get when the heart skips a beat sort of stimulates the brain in some way! So here's a story - 

Ananya had been married for three years and was now a mother to a little baby boy.  Her life was perfect - a loving husband,  a happy and healthy baby and a promising career.  There were some moments when she remembered an old friend... Dhriti.  They were close friends during the college years but had fallen out of touch.  Ananya partly blamed herself, it was around the time she got married. It was a love marriage, Tanmay - her husband - belonged to a different community ... a different part of the country actually.  In a country where the caste system still exists it had taken a lot more than just coaxing her parents to agree to go through the wedding.  It had been a quiet registered marriage followed by a quick traditional ceremony. 

While sorting out family issues after love, friendship was placed on the back burner. She couldn't share this with her  friend who was working in a different city. By the time the news reached Dhriti it was over 6 months.  Ananya was in a different city and she did not have her new number. There was e-mail but there was also the ego.  Dhriti was surprised but not any more than she was hurt.  She was happy for her friend and told herself that there must have been 'reasons' for her friend's behavior.  She assumed Ananya wanted the space and maintained her distance.  She did miss their friendship.

Three years later Dhriti was back in her hometown for a trip.  While at the supermarket she ran into Ananya's mother.  She was happy to see Dhriti and inquired about her life, she was also gushing about her new little grandson - Luv.  Dhriti was delighted to hear about Ananya's baby.  She asked for her phone and decided to let bygones be bygones...  she had to speak with her friend.  That evening she dialed her friend as thought's about what her Ananya might say or how she would react ran through her mind.  

"Hello Ananya! How's your baby doing?" is what she managed to speak as Ananya answered the call.  "Hello, umm Sorry... Who's this?"

"I knew you wouldn't recognise my voice.  Still Do you want to guess?"

"Your voice is soo familiar!.. I'm just not able to recollect"

"Its alright.  Three years is a long time... I'm someone you seem to have forgotten" Dhriti smiled and sighed as she said this.

"It you Dhriti! OH MY GOD! Its You! I'd recognize that smile anyday."

"How have you been? And how's the baby Luv?"

"Umm I'm good.  Luv is learning to stand...  How have you been?"

"Why did you not call me? I was always happy for you... "

"Dhriti... I'm Sorry! Really, I can't tell you how many times I thought of calling you but only stopped because I was afraid you'd be upset.  I missed you and then it seemed like it was too late.. It seemed awkward to call you.  I didn't know what to say... I'm really sorry!" Ananya paused to fight back her tears.

"Yeah, you should be. Well you can apologize every week till the rest of your life every time you call me" Tears welled up in her eyes as she said this. She knew Ananya was truly sorry.  She was still the same person and nothing seemed to have changed.

The rest of the conversation was alright. They spoke for two whole hours like they had never stopped talking and this was just another of the regular phone calls. They  met the following week are now in touch and very much at peace with  each other.

Sometimes its as easy as picking up a phone call to clear misapprehensions.  How many times do we actually do it?

Surprises

There is something just charming and lovable about surprises (referring the good ones of course!).  Its nice to surprise people, to watch the reaction and observe how they respond.  You might have surprised someone in the family or your friends but have you ever tried surprising who are just acquaintances? How about random strangers who might have helped you? (OK may be not if they look scary or dangerous - looks can be deceiving, I know but better safe than sorry right :P)

Try This: 

Surprise someone, do something nice impulsively (you will surprise yourself even) and I'm not talking about family or close friends.  Try surprising someone who would never expect a surprise from you - a colleague, acquaintance, someone who helps you with direction maybe or a teacher - basically someone who you would generally not think of surprising.  

Surprises don't always come gift wrapped.  When I say surprise I don't mean buying expense gifts or taking them out to dinner or something lavish. These random people are the ones who will NEVER expect a surprise from you.  Surprise them may be by helping with something - you might have to out of your way to make it special, or may be a hug (this is fine if you know it won't be taken in any other way :P) if its someone random like the person who helped you with directions - say thank you like you  truly mean it and you would have been lost forever if it weren't for them.  When you help someone or someone helps you 'Thanks / Thank You' just seems like a reflex action and not like you are really genuinely thankful. We are being polite but that's about it. So its worth spending that 1-2 extra minutes to thank the person.  That person and you will both depart with a smile on the faces and a little warmth in the heart.

During weekdays most people who work spend at-least 50% of the waking time at work and that's the least. I'm sure some might spend more even (read workaholics)  despite spending so much time at work sometimes you don't really know your teammates (if it is intentional it might be fine and the distance must be respected) but very few people really know about whats really happening in their co-worker's life.  I know some can be extremely boring or obnoxious or rude or mean or even really extra sweet and give you a feeling of diabetes still there's a way you can surprise them.  You must may be just once a year.  Pleasantly surprise them with something, could be work or a treat or just a casual chat at the coffee machine.  But there is always something to surprise them with and when you do, you will find that warm fuzzy feeling inside :) 

Ever thought about thanking the door man or the lift operator or the sweeper or the waterboy or the cleaning lady? We think they are being paid and they are just doing their job but everybody needs some sort of recognition something positive to motivate and look forward to doing the same thing day in and day out.  Even a kind word might work for them or may be a surprise early bonus around festivals or anything that would make them feel good.  Just a random act, not something you would be expected to do everyday but something to make them feel that they are also doing something important.

Why do it?

To find that warm 'feel good' feeling more often than we usually do. Seeing that unexpected smile, the little bit of unexpected happiness in someone will make you happy too and its such a great feeling!  Lots of bad things happen everyday and we need to stay positive and happy. Staying positive does not mean over looking the bad bits but trying to better things. Its these little things that you can do to make someone's day special. You know the feeling when you get a good surprise - you love it!  Its even better when shared with someone.  Knowing how they are feeling and knowing you are the reason for it sort of amplifies the excitement.  Its like the moment you see a child opening their present.  You know what's inside and you might have only imagined what the moment would be like, but its only when they open the present you can actually feel it too.  Another thing this will do is you start thinking about making someone happy - someone, other than you. You learn to be creative and more impulsive. 

There might be people who say they don't like surprises but I don't believe that's true.  A good surprise is something anybody would love. So, go ahead spread a smile, make someone happy :)

A Different World

I was a NCC cadet during my college days and that introduced me to a different world. NCC stands for National Cadet Corps.  Being a cadet taught me some of life's lessons - survival, time management and people skills to name a few. I'll share some interesting stories; stories that I have shared with a few of my non-NCC friends :)

I think only NCC cadets will ever fully understand what is it to be a part of this world where we march most of the times, what it means to wake up in the wee hours, queuing up outside a telephone booth during camps to call home, the camp food :D, the meaning of  the words night sentry duty, the hierarchy from Senior Under Office to a Corporal and running around with rifles and even being able to shoot at targets. The Republic Day Parade in Delhi, the passion and the struggle it takes to get there. Thal Sainik camp, NIC camp and so many more terms! :)

For those who weren't a part of NCC here's some info: There are three wings of the NCC much like our armed forces - The Army, The Navy and the Airforce.  This is sort of to have a trained pool of trained people who can be of help in times of emergency (I think).  There are a lot of things that cadets do besides marching around in the sun.  For me it was a passion, the most memorable moments of my college life were spent in camps.  I met most of my closest friends in NCC camps or parades :)  Here are a few of the lessons I learnt at camp.

Lesson 1 - No Think, No Smell: I was a part of the first batch of the girls NCC unit in our college and it was our first NCC camp. Usually cadets are given two pairs of uniforms but since ours was a new unit all of us only had one pair of Khakis (I was an Army cadet).  The camp lasted for 12 days and all of us had to make do with one uniform - imagine this now we were made to march the whole day under the sun and made us sweat a lot and we used the same uniform for at least 8 days before washing it on day 9 or 10 I think :P.  What's interesting to note was nobody complaint of body odour or smelly uniforms :) All of us hung the uniforms on hangers and sprayed deodorant on them :D  and the next morning they would be just OK :) That was the first NCC camp I ever attended :) 

Lesson 2 - Re-arrange Tasks, Make Time: The first morning at the camp and I realized I should have woken up early - there were long queues outside the bathrooms and toilets! Somehow managed to get ready and make it in time for the morning exercise.  That night I showered at night and went to sleep wearing the morning exercise dress. Saved me a lot of time next morning - all I had to do was brush and do my hair - tying two plats in the figure of 8 :) This habit stayed with me for a long time even when I started my new job I had a morning 6 AM shift so I would follow the same thing then too - showered at night and just brushed and dressed up in the morning.  I got ready in 10 minutes! :D

Lesson 3 - Keep it Simple Silly: There used to be long queues outside the telephone booth.  Cell phones were just launched that too the black and grey screen ancient ones, few people in camp owned them.  I wasn't so talkative those days (I'd like to think so ) when it came to calling home I would tell the girls ahead I would take just 1 minute and they would let me cut the line.  I communicated what my mother wanted to know in just in minute or less.  The conversation would mostly just be " I'm fine here, the food is OK, people are fine too.  What else you want to know?" she would just laugh and reply nothing else and I'd hang up :D What else do mothers want to know besides knowing how their child is :)

Lesson 4 - Ask and Only Then You Shall Receive: Its a bad world and one has to fend for oneself no matter how many friends or relative one has.  One must learn to defend and survive independently, want something then learn to ask.  Self service first is the number one rule of the jungle don't expect anyone to wait on you or to take care of you.  There was this very helpful I knew at camp which lasted almost two and half month.  She would help the other girls and share her stuff if anyone wanted anything.  Once she ran out of lip balm (it was winter and lip balm was a very important item) she asked this other girl if she could borrow her's.  Now this other girl was a meanie and behaved as if she didn't hear what she said.  But my friend was persistent, she had once helped this other girl and now she would not going to be ignored.

Lesson 5 - Life is not always Fair: I participated in the Republic Day Parade camp and this is something the cadets will ever understand.  This was the only time I ever wanted to go to Delhi just to participate in the Republic Day Parade.  Its the mother of all camps, the cadets go through series of  mentally and physically excruciating camps. The reason I went for it was to challenge my physical limits, to see how much could my body take.  It seemed all good fun at first but as we advanced the levels so did the number of eliminations happening.  I was eliminated at the third last level of the camp which was almost two and half months of camping in that year.  I didn't think I was bad but it was a numbers game and mine wasn't called out.  That hurt and it was a little depressing but well life is not always fair. But as long as you look at the bright side you will be fine - learn the lessons.

Two years after this camp I was working in a new city and doing odd hours of shift.  The lessons I learnt in camp seemed like a preparation for this new phase of life that began after college...

Its Been a Year!

My blog is one year old today! <Applause> Last year this day (few hours from now) I had posted my first ever article into cyberspace.  Its definitely an achievement for me because its one of those few things I constantly keep at.  I can tell you about some things I tried my hand at but it was because either I was busy or due to bad luck due to which I failed

Here’s to name a few:

Learning Japanese – I love to learn languages and when I started working 5 years ago it was for a Japanese process.  So I wanted to learn the language.  One of my friend is a freelance Japanese translator and also teaches the language! (Lucky me huh!) So yea She agreed to teach me and said if I study hard I could answer the level 4 exam – There are 4 levels of Japanese  Language Proficiency Test (there are 5 levels now but there were 4 back then).  Level 4 being the lowest and level 1 the toughest.  Things with me is I get really excited and agree to do things when they sound do-able.  My friend lived about 11 stations away from my house (this is not too far if you get on to the Mumbai Local) that is about 25 min by train. So the excited me was all set and attended the class for the first 3-4 weekends.  Japanese is a really interesting language (and I wish I had pursued it) I’m a visual learner and Japanese words are actually drawings that describe the word.  I still remember the word Water – pronounced Mizu in Japanese.  Below is the picture of word in Hira-gana (one of the three scripts used in Japanese writing.  The other two are Kata-kana and Kanji) on the right.  The way my friend explained it is – it looks like a drop of water splash – Indeed doesn’t it? The language is mostly drawings... almost!:P

Mizu  - Water

I guess it was because of her teaching method I still remember the few things I do.  So the question why did I not complete it? I think because I was lazy and partly also because my friend got married and moved to a different city. So that was the end of learning Japanese.

The Violin Affair – I just love the sound of violins and its such a beautiful instrument. I love everything about it! One of my favourite musical ads is of the blender's pride music CDs (the ad where the guy first keeps playing this one tune and towards the end his girlfriend gifts him a violin and learns to play the same tune herself)...ever listened to it? At times like these I wish I could read and write music.

Its a thing of such beauty!

So once upon a time, I enrolled myself in a music class (this was almost 4 years ago I think).  The first day was exciting.  I learnt to play the DoReMi chords :) and dreamed that someday I could attempt to play a Beethoven or Bach (Yeah, I'm a hopeless dreamer :D) . I guess it was the class timing (and me being lazy) did not attend more 6 classes :(  A real shame! Even today I feel guilty because I just gave up.  Now I’m just buzy and work timings are a challenge for this sort of thing. But maybe someday I would go back and learn to play... or if I don't I know I will definitely buy a lovely violin for keepsakes :) (When I have my own place and won't have to worry about space management)

Un Sueño Español (A Spanish Dream) – I was keen to learn Spanish because after Japanese this language seemed a lot easier. For starters they used Roman alphabets. Quiet a few words is Spanish are  similar to few words used in Konkani (my mother tongue), Hindi, Sanskrit and has common words used in Portuguese (I don't know Portuguese or Sanskrit but know a few words from here and there). 

So I joined the class, got the books and was super excited to learn the language in the beginning.  I learnt the alphabet and numbers :) Every day I would find a word that had a similar meaning or sounded similar in some of the other known languages. The reason I gave up was... hmm, now that I’m writing this I realise is because I was lazy.  The class was in between workplace and home - usually this is a good thing. But the problem was I had to take the bus to get to class and the buses in this city.. and that's a whole different story. I had to wait for 25-30 minutes for the bus if you missed one you would have to wait for sooo long! Taking the auto-rickshaw was not a economical option for everyday travel... The wait was killing. So I gave up and wasted a lot of money - guilty again. This was about 3 years ago. I like to say I've learnt from these experiences... and now I don't enroll for any class :P - kidding :) Early this year I signed up to learn to drive and I completed the course and I now have a driver's license :)

I guess if I was really determined I would have been able to achieve all of the above... I remember this quote by Swami Vivekananda – "Arise, Awake and stop not till the goal is reached."  Determination is the key to success... This was years ago and I have learnt few of life’s lessons through the years.  I have learnt that one needs to be relentless if we really want to make things happen. Another quote I'd like to mention is "Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough." (Don't remember who said that).

So yes... completing a year on the blog is a BIG deal for me because its one of those few things I am able to check off the list - not really going to check this one off.. yet!  Looking back and seeing 40 articles in a year, liked and commented on is not too bad I guess ;) It was a a wonderful 1st year of blogging.  Hope the inspiration continues and may my Muse watch over me :) 

I would also like to thank those who read these articles / stories that I post - Thank You! It is knowing, somebody somewhere is reading and appreciating my effort that has sometimes inspired me to write and share :) Please continue commenting, sharing and liking :D Your feedback is very much valued!

Some Interesting People

Disclaimer to Friends: If I haven't mentioned you in this article it does not mean you are not special to me. You must already know I don't have the patience to write pages and pages.  May be someday when I think of writing a book on the people in my life I will count each and every single one of you. This post is to highlight people I met through uncommon and interesting ways.  Also I shall not give out proper names - for your privacy ofcourse.. but you should know when I'm talking about you.. hopefully

I have to say I have a good memory (most of the times). Today I was going through my friends list on a social networking site (I know that you know that I'm talking about Facebook) and remembering how we became friends. Some I share some interesting moments with, some through a common friend only to realise how freakin similar we are and then somehow we ended up becoming closer friends than with the one who actually introduced us. I'd like to narrate this chronologically.

Some how I don't remember the first friend I ever made - probably because it was an entire class I saw (getting a feeling I'm rambling now... May be writing in the reverse order is better)

The most recent friends I made were two people (RK and JK) with whom I had interacted only through this blog.  How I met them was because of another common blogger friend (BM) whose posts I much love to read  and the people I met were also his fans :P... now what's special about this is I don't really go about adding everybody who follows this blog :P I had added BM on FB after reading his articles. The plan was to meet up with BM because he was coming to this city but eventually ended up meeting RK and JK  and also a new unexpected friend JM. RK was the 1st one I saw and just behind her were JK and JM.  We met at Nariman Point and it was a totally fun evening!

Another friend I made thanks to blogger and I intend to meet as well is SDR.  I really like reading what she writes.  Her post Perceptions, Vegan and Boyfriends is one of the best articles I've read!  Hope someday we are able to meet in person too. 

SB is another really really sweet and extremely fun person! She is my office best friend's (DS) childhood friend.  I added SB on FB after hearing all her stories / praises  from DS.  We had a common best friend but I think we mostly bonded over heavy issues.  Something peculiar about her is she is quiet a lot like me - soo talkative (sooo much more than me - I don't get to talk when she is talking!), extremely fun, very straight forward and we have realised over time that we have a LOT of similar likes / dislikes!  I call her the comic strip lady, she has a lot of potential to write (sadly she does not believe this) and those who know her can get to see this side of her if they are friends on FB or around her when she is in that mode :P hehe. I am yet to meet her in person, another person on the list of people I want to see :D

SC was a girl from the same college as me.. She was a year senior to me though.  (I'm not sure what impact my revelations will have on our friendship now but since this topic is such.. heregoes!) This happened about almost two years ago.  I received a call from a girl and she said she was in the same college as me she was my senior and had got my number from a common friend CS. She was working in Bangalore but was in Mumbai on a business trip and wanted to meet up.  She added me on FB and we had tons of common friends (the entire college crowd). Now there was something about this person.  I clearly remembered her name and also that she was my senior in college but the thing with the brain is when you remember names it also does a lookup on the face.  When I went through her profile on FB there was no flashback! She called again the next day - it was the weekend.  she had to do some shopping and also was keen to meet up.  Now I could not tell her that I did not remember her face, I thought may be if I met her in personally I might remember her.  So I did, but still nothing! That was really weird because I claim to have a good memory but I just could not remember her! It was like a whole person was wiped out of my mental records.  But yet I did not tell her that.  The whole time we spoke of college, work and the kind of people we meet, life, etc. in the background my brain was desperately  trying to get a match. That whole evening I spent getting to know this person I had once known earlier.  Till date I am unable to recollect how she looked like in college (unless she dressed up like a Hobo or had a undergone plastic surgery or something - which I know is not true or possible!) That day I made friends with a person allover again whom I knew once upon a time and for some reason - which I still wonder - I'm unable to recollect! Bet that has never happened to anyone!

AS and I met in a camp in Dharwad, Karnataka in the summer of 2005.  We first met in the summer camp and then in the subsequent Pre Republic day selections camps that happened that year.  I was an Army cadet and she was a Naval cadet. Initially we did not like each other at all but it was a session of 'face reading' that brought the walls down :) After that we became really good friends and still are. I'm glad we met AS! On second thoughts the whole group of faces was really special!

DM is a friend I made 9 years ago! Way back in 2002 Yahoo chat was a rage like FB is now-a-days.   There used to be real people to chat with unlike today where chat rooms are full of predators.  Through the years we have stayed in touch somehow while not constantly being connected but catching up now and again.  I think it is an achievement we are good friends till today is because through all those changed numbers and e-mail addresses we still managed to be in touch.  We finally met in the real world about 2 years ago before that we had not even exchanged pictures or anything (none that I remember)!

So these are some of my friends.  From the above listed interesting people I think SC story tops the list... Unless someone tells me that is normal :P

The Height of Feminism

Today is Women's Day and seems perfect to write something in support of the feminine. This goes out to all the ladies, hope you have a good laugh :)
Before that a DISCLAIMER:  to everyone reading this article - Somethings might sound familiar because you might have read or heard it somewhere. So have I, but they all came together wonderfully in my mind I just had to put it out here :)

I was talking with one my girlfriends and we happened to stumble upon the topic of marriage, love, commitment, luck etc.  We spoke about how lucky some people are while there are other still looking for love..Right or wrong places they just don't find it.  All the good men seem to be married, committed, gay or just hidden away from us. We have almost given up the idea of finding the 'One'. Wonder what corner of the world he is.. oh wait.. the world is round! Darn it!

So.. we decided we might just skip the part of having a relationship and move on to the next level - Adoption.  She said "Its a woman's world now, no longer a mans world.  The remaining males are just suckers and we need to get rid of them too. We need to keep a few though, rear them and use the sperms to 'produce' as many kids as possible for adoption and then make the New Generation" (felt like I read this somewhere) I felt as though I was co-plotting to rid the world of all the manpower just by being a part of this conversation and it was starting to worry me a bit. She realised I was lost in thought, then she said something really funny "Stop worrying about men, it's woman's day. Concentrate on the superior being here!" Girl did she crack me up. She ended her plan with the phrase - The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.

She could be very well right about us being the superior beings.  After all God created Adam before Eve because the rough draft had to be prepared before the masterpiece.  More power to women :)

A note for Men: If you read the above, please don't take it to heart its not until a couple 100 years till The Plan will be actioned.

On Marriage...

Quiet a few friends tied the knot last year and some are engaged to be married this year. There were so many people updating their status on Facebook from Single/engaged to engaged /married.  There were such updates everyday and it seemed like a wedding sale!

When were little we knew that when we grow up we would meet that someone special and get married but we didn't know why we would do it? It was just one of those grown up things to do - Get a job, buy a house, pay the bills, get married, be responsible, buy a car, etc. I remember when I learnt to write, writing my name was not the most fun thing to do - Nivedita Gopinathan was a long name for a beginner.  I wondered when I would grow up get married and change my last name.  That was the reason then.  Some years later when I learnt to wear a saree I thought I'd marry someone just so I could dress up in a saree everyday.

As we grow up we get to know about love. Its not about 'Marriage', its about Love and finding that someone who we feel makes us feel complete.  Love and marriage are two different things, Marriage does not come with a guarantee and it is a gamble but we can hope to have made the right decision by trusting our heart.  We always like to think that we would end up with Mr./ Miss Perfect but the truth be told - Mr./ Miss Perfect is an illusion like the fairy tales but good news is there is a Mr./ Miss Right who is going to be perfect.  They don't simply say love is blind for nothing.  When you truly love someone that person seems perfect and flawless.

Tom Mullen said - Successful marriage depends on two things: (1) finding the right person and (2) being the right person.