Turning 30

I remember thinking when I turned 25, that I’d be 30 in no time!  I dreaded turning 30 since I was 25! Turning 30 has been made into this really big deal and while some us of might think it’s not, there are whole lot out there who think otherwise. I have to admit, I have been a part of that lot till about a month ago. For most it’s the general social checklist i.e.  the job, car, house, marriage, kids etc and if you’ve got the ticks in.  Me thinks, the whole lot is usually people who are not 30 yet (or those pesky aunts/relatives trying to get you hitched)! 

A month after turning 20, I had moved to Mumbai because of a job.  I’m still a part of that company and would be completing a decade working there!  At the end of the recruitment season in college I had two offers in hand, one was Hewlett-Packard and other was JP Morgan.  HP had been coming to our college for years and we knew our seniors were working there; we would have someone to go to if we ever needed advice.  JP Morgan on the other hand was a company none of the students had heard of. Whoever chose it would be the first batch, I chose the latter because it would be an adventure.  At the time I thought why not discover something new? 

I’ve grown and learnt so much about life in the last 10 years!  Made loads of friends, built relationships, grown up, grown apart and even lost a few friends.   The first five years of the last decade were spent mostly at work, not just because I was a workaholic but because it was work + at office.  I made some of the best friends during this time of life and I’m to say I still have almost all of them.  I honestly did not realise the first 4 years pass and office was the first home away from home.  It was after these dear friends changed jobs and moved away that brought the differentiation of personal and professional time.

I do have a few regrets (wouldn’t be life without it right?) like not having enough time with my family  and not  being around while my little brother grew up from being 3.5 ft to almost 6ft tall. Taking some things too seriously when I should have chilled out and relaxed and other times being silly instead of having known better.  Wait, they’re not all regrets, some of them, most of them have been lessons and I’m still glad it all happened. If someone now asks me ‘Would you do it all over again?’ I’d say ‘No!’ Because its one life, you learn and move ahead.  Why would anyone do the same thing twice unless it was like the Ground Hog Day movie? :P

Today I am thinking of all the people I have met over the last decade and thanking those that have made a difference.  I also thank my parents for the values I hold and take responsibility for any shortcomings I have.  Parent’s support is one of the most important thing in a child’s life and I feel truly been blessed for the constant support my parents provide me.

Looking back at the decade I feel extremely proud of what I have achieved.  I think its living alone and managing everything myself that has taught me the most.  Although I have friends who I could call on in tough times I have weathered some storms alone and that has only made me stronger.  It’s like knowing you have a net but still making that successful tight rope walk without having a wire attached. Life is going to throw some punches but as long as you keep getting up its going to be okay.

So much of life has happened in a decade and I can’t wait to see what else is in the future store!

Two Friends - A Short Story

Boy, have I been away for a long time! Life kept me buzy.  Lots of good things happening.  This is not an open dairy - I know that and I keep telling myself - but many good things have happened.  And Joy is a thing to be shared.  Life as we know isn't always full of fun and happiness - ofcourse! -  we appreciate it more because of the days of melancholy, gloom and despondency.  There were a lot of sad resentful events taking place around that made me angry - killing of the girl child that was in the news, women safety issues in Delhi or rather the lack of it! Not to forget the dirty politics Ughh! On the personal front there had been a few mini storms blowing. Nothing major but you know how EVERYTHING seems to go wrong when we are in a terrible situation.  I'd rather spread joy than wallow in misery and self pity! I'm too good for that :D hehe

I think us humans enjoy drama - there's a reason why those Balaji serials do so well you know! - the feeling you get when the heart skips a beat sort of stimulates the brain in some way! So here's a story - 

Ananya had been married for three years and was now a mother to a little baby boy.  Her life was perfect - a loving husband,  a happy and healthy baby and a promising career.  There were some moments when she remembered an old friend... Dhriti.  They were close friends during the college years but had fallen out of touch.  Ananya partly blamed herself, it was around the time she got married. It was a love marriage, Tanmay - her husband - belonged to a different community ... a different part of the country actually.  In a country where the caste system still exists it had taken a lot more than just coaxing her parents to agree to go through the wedding.  It had been a quiet registered marriage followed by a quick traditional ceremony. 

While sorting out family issues after love, friendship was placed on the back burner. She couldn't share this with her  friend who was working in a different city. By the time the news reached Dhriti it was over 6 months.  Ananya was in a different city and she did not have her new number. There was e-mail but there was also the ego.  Dhriti was surprised but not any more than she was hurt.  She was happy for her friend and told herself that there must have been 'reasons' for her friend's behavior.  She assumed Ananya wanted the space and maintained her distance.  She did miss their friendship.

Three years later Dhriti was back in her hometown for a trip.  While at the supermarket she ran into Ananya's mother.  She was happy to see Dhriti and inquired about her life, she was also gushing about her new little grandson - Luv.  Dhriti was delighted to hear about Ananya's baby.  She asked for her phone and decided to let bygones be bygones...  she had to speak with her friend.  That evening she dialed her friend as thought's about what her Ananya might say or how she would react ran through her mind.  

"Hello Ananya! How's your baby doing?" is what she managed to speak as Ananya answered the call.  "Hello, umm Sorry... Who's this?"

"I knew you wouldn't recognise my voice.  Still Do you want to guess?"

"Your voice is soo familiar!.. I'm just not able to recollect"

"Its alright.  Three years is a long time... I'm someone you seem to have forgotten" Dhriti smiled and sighed as she said this.

"It you Dhriti! OH MY GOD! Its You! I'd recognize that smile anyday."

"How have you been? And how's the baby Luv?"

"Umm I'm good.  Luv is learning to stand...  How have you been?"

"Why did you not call me? I was always happy for you... "

"Dhriti... I'm Sorry! Really, I can't tell you how many times I thought of calling you but only stopped because I was afraid you'd be upset.  I missed you and then it seemed like it was too late.. It seemed awkward to call you.  I didn't know what to say... I'm really sorry!" Ananya paused to fight back her tears.

"Yeah, you should be. Well you can apologize every week till the rest of your life every time you call me" Tears welled up in her eyes as she said this. She knew Ananya was truly sorry.  She was still the same person and nothing seemed to have changed.

The rest of the conversation was alright. They spoke for two whole hours like they had never stopped talking and this was just another of the regular phone calls. They  met the following week are now in touch and very much at peace with  each other.

Sometimes its as easy as picking up a phone call to clear misapprehensions.  How many times do we actually do it?

A Different World

I was a NCC cadet during my college days and that introduced me to a different world. NCC stands for National Cadet Corps.  Being a cadet taught me some of life's lessons - survival, time management and people skills to name a few. I'll share some interesting stories; stories that I have shared with a few of my non-NCC friends :)

I think only NCC cadets will ever fully understand what is it to be a part of this world where we march most of the times, what it means to wake up in the wee hours, queuing up outside a telephone booth during camps to call home, the camp food :D, the meaning of  the words night sentry duty, the hierarchy from Senior Under Office to a Corporal and running around with rifles and even being able to shoot at targets. The Republic Day Parade in Delhi, the passion and the struggle it takes to get there. Thal Sainik camp, NIC camp and so many more terms! :)

For those who weren't a part of NCC here's some info: There are three wings of the NCC much like our armed forces - The Army, The Navy and the Airforce.  This is sort of to have a trained pool of trained people who can be of help in times of emergency (I think).  There are a lot of things that cadets do besides marching around in the sun.  For me it was a passion, the most memorable moments of my college life were spent in camps.  I met most of my closest friends in NCC camps or parades :)  Here are a few of the lessons I learnt at camp.

Lesson 1 - No Think, No Smell: I was a part of the first batch of the girls NCC unit in our college and it was our first NCC camp. Usually cadets are given two pairs of uniforms but since ours was a new unit all of us only had one pair of Khakis (I was an Army cadet).  The camp lasted for 12 days and all of us had to make do with one uniform - imagine this now we were made to march the whole day under the sun and made us sweat a lot and we used the same uniform for at least 8 days before washing it on day 9 or 10 I think :P.  What's interesting to note was nobody complaint of body odour or smelly uniforms :) All of us hung the uniforms on hangers and sprayed deodorant on them :D  and the next morning they would be just OK :) That was the first NCC camp I ever attended :) 

Lesson 2 - Re-arrange Tasks, Make Time: The first morning at the camp and I realized I should have woken up early - there were long queues outside the bathrooms and toilets! Somehow managed to get ready and make it in time for the morning exercise.  That night I showered at night and went to sleep wearing the morning exercise dress. Saved me a lot of time next morning - all I had to do was brush and do my hair - tying two plats in the figure of 8 :) This habit stayed with me for a long time even when I started my new job I had a morning 6 AM shift so I would follow the same thing then too - showered at night and just brushed and dressed up in the morning.  I got ready in 10 minutes! :D

Lesson 3 - Keep it Simple Silly: There used to be long queues outside the telephone booth.  Cell phones were just launched that too the black and grey screen ancient ones, few people in camp owned them.  I wasn't so talkative those days (I'd like to think so ) when it came to calling home I would tell the girls ahead I would take just 1 minute and they would let me cut the line.  I communicated what my mother wanted to know in just in minute or less.  The conversation would mostly just be " I'm fine here, the food is OK, people are fine too.  What else you want to know?" she would just laugh and reply nothing else and I'd hang up :D What else do mothers want to know besides knowing how their child is :)

Lesson 4 - Ask and Only Then You Shall Receive: Its a bad world and one has to fend for oneself no matter how many friends or relative one has.  One must learn to defend and survive independently, want something then learn to ask.  Self service first is the number one rule of the jungle don't expect anyone to wait on you or to take care of you.  There was this very helpful I knew at camp which lasted almost two and half month.  She would help the other girls and share her stuff if anyone wanted anything.  Once she ran out of lip balm (it was winter and lip balm was a very important item) she asked this other girl if she could borrow her's.  Now this other girl was a meanie and behaved as if she didn't hear what she said.  But my friend was persistent, she had once helped this other girl and now she would not going to be ignored.

Lesson 5 - Life is not always Fair: I participated in the Republic Day Parade camp and this is something the cadets will ever understand.  This was the only time I ever wanted to go to Delhi just to participate in the Republic Day Parade.  Its the mother of all camps, the cadets go through series of  mentally and physically excruciating camps. The reason I went for it was to challenge my physical limits, to see how much could my body take.  It seemed all good fun at first but as we advanced the levels so did the number of eliminations happening.  I was eliminated at the third last level of the camp which was almost two and half months of camping in that year.  I didn't think I was bad but it was a numbers game and mine wasn't called out.  That hurt and it was a little depressing but well life is not always fair. But as long as you look at the bright side you will be fine - learn the lessons.

Two years after this camp I was working in a new city and doing odd hours of shift.  The lessons I learnt in camp seemed like a preparation for this new phase of life that began after college...

Some Interesting People

Disclaimer to Friends: If I haven't mentioned you in this article it does not mean you are not special to me. You must already know I don't have the patience to write pages and pages.  May be someday when I think of writing a book on the people in my life I will count each and every single one of you. This post is to highlight people I met through uncommon and interesting ways.  Also I shall not give out proper names - for your privacy ofcourse.. but you should know when I'm talking about you.. hopefully

I have to say I have a good memory (most of the times). Today I was going through my friends list on a social networking site (I know that you know that I'm talking about Facebook) and remembering how we became friends. Some I share some interesting moments with, some through a common friend only to realise how freakin similar we are and then somehow we ended up becoming closer friends than with the one who actually introduced us. I'd like to narrate this chronologically.

Some how I don't remember the first friend I ever made - probably because it was an entire class I saw (getting a feeling I'm rambling now... May be writing in the reverse order is better)

The most recent friends I made were two people (RK and JK) with whom I had interacted only through this blog.  How I met them was because of another common blogger friend (BM) whose posts I much love to read  and the people I met were also his fans :P... now what's special about this is I don't really go about adding everybody who follows this blog :P I had added BM on FB after reading his articles. The plan was to meet up with BM because he was coming to this city but eventually ended up meeting RK and JK  and also a new unexpected friend JM. RK was the 1st one I saw and just behind her were JK and JM.  We met at Nariman Point and it was a totally fun evening!

Another friend I made thanks to blogger and I intend to meet as well is SDR.  I really like reading what she writes.  Her post Perceptions, Vegan and Boyfriends is one of the best articles I've read!  Hope someday we are able to meet in person too. 

SB is another really really sweet and extremely fun person! She is my office best friend's (DS) childhood friend.  I added SB on FB after hearing all her stories / praises  from DS.  We had a common best friend but I think we mostly bonded over heavy issues.  Something peculiar about her is she is quiet a lot like me - soo talkative (sooo much more than me - I don't get to talk when she is talking!), extremely fun, very straight forward and we have realised over time that we have a LOT of similar likes / dislikes!  I call her the comic strip lady, she has a lot of potential to write (sadly she does not believe this) and those who know her can get to see this side of her if they are friends on FB or around her when she is in that mode :P hehe. I am yet to meet her in person, another person on the list of people I want to see :D

SC was a girl from the same college as me.. She was a year senior to me though.  (I'm not sure what impact my revelations will have on our friendship now but since this topic is such.. heregoes!) This happened about almost two years ago.  I received a call from a girl and she said she was in the same college as me she was my senior and had got my number from a common friend CS. She was working in Bangalore but was in Mumbai on a business trip and wanted to meet up.  She added me on FB and we had tons of common friends (the entire college crowd). Now there was something about this person.  I clearly remembered her name and also that she was my senior in college but the thing with the brain is when you remember names it also does a lookup on the face.  When I went through her profile on FB there was no flashback! She called again the next day - it was the weekend.  she had to do some shopping and also was keen to meet up.  Now I could not tell her that I did not remember her face, I thought may be if I met her in personally I might remember her.  So I did, but still nothing! That was really weird because I claim to have a good memory but I just could not remember her! It was like a whole person was wiped out of my mental records.  But yet I did not tell her that.  The whole time we spoke of college, work and the kind of people we meet, life, etc. in the background my brain was desperately  trying to get a match. That whole evening I spent getting to know this person I had once known earlier.  Till date I am unable to recollect how she looked like in college (unless she dressed up like a Hobo or had a undergone plastic surgery or something - which I know is not true or possible!) That day I made friends with a person allover again whom I knew once upon a time and for some reason - which I still wonder - I'm unable to recollect! Bet that has never happened to anyone!

AS and I met in a camp in Dharwad, Karnataka in the summer of 2005.  We first met in the summer camp and then in the subsequent Pre Republic day selections camps that happened that year.  I was an Army cadet and she was a Naval cadet. Initially we did not like each other at all but it was a session of 'face reading' that brought the walls down :) After that we became really good friends and still are. I'm glad we met AS! On second thoughts the whole group of faces was really special!

DM is a friend I made 9 years ago! Way back in 2002 Yahoo chat was a rage like FB is now-a-days.   There used to be real people to chat with unlike today where chat rooms are full of predators.  Through the years we have stayed in touch somehow while not constantly being connected but catching up now and again.  I think it is an achievement we are good friends till today is because through all those changed numbers and e-mail addresses we still managed to be in touch.  We finally met in the real world about 2 years ago before that we had not even exchanged pictures or anything (none that I remember)!

So these are some of my friends.  From the above listed interesting people I think SC story tops the list... Unless someone tells me that is normal :P